You Have Never Left Me
by halsteadswisconsin
Summary: Post 4x13 one shot.


**Hey guys. How amazing was the episode this week? Definitely one of my favorites of the season. It gave me some inspiration to do a one-shot set right after the episode but where Jay took the case a lot harder than what he led on at work. Also, I'm going to continue little one-shots like these, except it will be on Tumblr. So if you would like, you can follow me jayfthalstead . My ask box will also be open for requests. As always, I don't own anything cred to NBC, etc.**

 **Enjoy and review if you would like!**

Erin was sat on the couch watching mind numbing television waiting for Jay to get home. She wasn't paying attention to whatever show it was because she was so worried about Jay. She knew this case was one of the toughest he has had. The ones with kids hit him especially hard. It wasn't lost on her that this went to show how great of a father he would be. Caring, loyal, the whole nine years. Everything she didn't have.

She heard the knob of the apartment door jiggle and knew who it was about to reveal.

"Hey" she said softly, careful not to startle him.

He just nodded his head in response, maybe even tried to force a smile but it didn't show. If she was being completely honest- he looked awful. His eyes were bloodshot like he had been crying and his hair was tossed as if he ran his fingers threw it too much. He did that when he was stressed.

He slowly walked into their bedroom and Erin got up to follow him, hot on his heels.

She watched from the doorframe as he put away his belongings and began to get dressed for bed. He was exhausted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She wanted to let him know she was there for him.

He sighed and let out a breath.

"Um actually I just want to be alone" He knew she was supportive of him, he really did, he just didn't feel like talking. Especially when he felt like he could burst into tears at any given moment.

She slowly walked towards him as he pulled on a white t-shirt.

"Jay" She whispered, trying to put her hand on her face. She just wanted contact, any contact would do right now.

"Erin, please" he closed his eyes and stepped out of her reach, turning his back to her.

"Jay, whatever happened you can trust-"

"You have no idea" He threw back in a sort of whisper-scream while turning back around to face her. The redness in his eyes had gotten worse than it was before and a single tear fell down his cheek.

"No idea" He repeated in more of a hushed tone.

She attempted again but this time he let her grab the side of his face. He was too tired to fight it anymore. He leaned into her touch.

"Oh baby" She whispered as he accidentally let more tears fall. Actually, no. He wasn't too tired to fight it. He suddenly stepped out of her reach.

"No, no..Erin...please just leave me alone"

He walked to the other side of the bedroom where a decorative chair was sitting. He took a seat and put his face in both of his hands, bending over. He let out awful sobbing noises. Erin hated to see him this way especially when there was nothing that seemed in her reach to fix it. He noticed that she was still there staring at his breakdown.

"Erin, I said please" He said in an angrier voice. After a second of deciding, Erin made up her mind.

"No" She said calmly as she walked over to the chair where he was hunched over crying. She got on her knees to try and reach his eye level.

"Im not leaving you, Jay" She tried to force his chin up so he would have to look at her. He finally budged and looked up and into her eyes.

"I can't name one time that you ever let me, so I will never leave you. Do you understand me? Now please let me in, baby"

He had calmed down enough to her her plea and he complied. She could make him feel better even if he didn't want to. Even when all he wanted to to do was sulk in his own misery, she brought him back.

"You saved those girls, Jay. You did that. You are a hero to them and to so many others in his city"

She smirked a little "Including me" She said, barely above a whisper.

He was quite for a minute while he tried to take in her words. Eventually he slowly nodded and understood what she was saying.

Erin stood up and took one of his hands in her own. She led him to lay down where he fell asleep while she whispered words of comfort and love into his ear and traced circles on his back. When he was finally lulled to sleep, she carefully got up and changed out of the shirt he has soaked with many tears. She looked down at him laying in their bed, sound asleep, knowing that he was going to get through this.

And she was going to help him do it.

 **Thanks for reading!**


End file.
